{"id":122297,"date":"2024-02-16T05:07:43","date_gmt":"2024-02-16T10:07:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/?post_type=blog&#038;p=122297"},"modified":"2024-02-16T05:07:43","modified_gmt":"2024-02-16T10:07:43","slug":"expectations-you-say","status":"publish","type":"blog","link":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/","title":{"rendered":"Expectations, You Say?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row u_row_style=&#8221;1&#8243; lms_row_has_bk_offset=&#8221;0&#8243; lms_row_bk_columns_offset=&#8221;0&#8243; u_row_enrollment_restriction=&#8221;0&#8243;][vc_column width=&#8221;1\/12&#8243; lms_has_clearfix=&#8221;0&#8243; offset=&#8221;vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs&#8221;][\/vc_column][vc_column width=&#8221;5\/6&#8243; lms_has_clearfix=&#8221;0&#8243; offset=&#8221;vc_col-lg-8&#8243; el_class=&#8221;head-post&#8221;][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n<h2>Expectations, You Say?<\/h2>\n<p>By Tsunma Kunsang Palmo \u2022 2 min read[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=&#8221;sharepost&#8221;]<input type=\"hidden\" value=\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/\" id=\"post-link\">\n\t\t\t\t<p>SHARE:\n\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer?u=https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/&t=Expectations, You Say?\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><i class=\"fa fa-facebook\"><\/i><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=Expectations, You Say?&url=https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><i class=\"fa fa-twitter\"><\/i><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"#\" class=\"copy-to-clipboard\" data-toggle=\"tooltip\" data-placement=\"top\" title=\"Link copied to clipboard!\"><i class=\"fa fa-link\"><\/i><\/a>\n\t<\/p>[\/vc_column_text][vc_btn title=&#8221;Joy of Living&#8221; style=&#8221;outline&#8221; color=&#8221;peacoc&#8221; align=&#8221;left&#8221; el_class=&#8221;btn-post&#8221; link=&#8221;url:https%3A%2F%2Fjoy.tergar.org%2Fjoy-of-living%2F||target:%20_blank|&#8221;][\/vc_column][vc_column width=&#8221;1\/12&#8243; lms_has_clearfix=&#8221;0&#8243; offset=&#8221;vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs&#8221;][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=&#8221;1&#8243; lms_row_has_bk_offset=&#8221;1&#8243; lms_row_bk_columns_offset=&#8221;0&#8243; u_row_enrollment_restriction=&#8221;0&#8243;][vc_column lms_has_clearfix=&#8221;0&#8243;][vc_single_image image=&#8221;122541&#8243; img_size=&#8221;full&#8221; alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1707257077223{padding-top: 30px !important;padding-bottom: 30px !important;}&#8221; el_class=&#8221;hidden-xs&#8221;][vc_single_image image=&#8221;122542&#8243; img_size=&#8221;full&#8221; alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1707257342437{padding-top: 30px !important;padding-bottom: 30px !important;}&#8221; el_class=&#8221;visible-xs&#8221;][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=&#8221;1&#8243; lms_row_has_bk_offset=&#8221;0&#8243; lms_row_bk_columns_offset=&#8221;0&#8243; u_row_enrollment_restriction=&#8221;0&#8243;][vc_column width=&#8221;1\/12&#8243; lms_has_clearfix=&#8221;0&#8243; offset=&#8221;vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs&#8221;][\/vc_column][vc_column width=&#8221;5\/6&#8243; lms_has_clearfix=&#8221;0&#8243; offset=&#8221;vc_col-lg-8&#8243;][vc_column_text el_class=&#8221;subtittle-open-post&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h3><strong>TRYING TOO HARD<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I first came to meditation, I really thought I had no expectations. But when things didn&#8217;t go the way I wanted them to or how I expected them to, I started to see that what I was doing was counterproductive to allowing my mind and body to settle.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This whole process of allowing the mind and the body to settle for me, particularly, was challenging. I had spent my life up until my mid-30s when I started meditating, putting a lot of effort into whatever it was that I wanted to do. I was one of those who fell into the extremes of putting in either all effort or none. And so meditation was just like that. I thought to myself, \u201cRight, I&#8217;m here. I&#8217;m in Asia. I&#8217;m living surrounded by Buddhists, surrounded by people who are meditating,\u201d and I really wanted just to jump in there and get it all.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The learning process involved seeing my habits, making friends with those habits, and realizing that trying harder and putting in that extra bit of exertion was so counterproductive. And in that process \u2013 it was quite beautiful because I had to really slow down. I had to really have self-compassion. I think it was the first time I learned to have patience and try a different approach to the challenges I was facing. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And that took time and still does take time. I feel that a lot of where I went wrong with my meditation was not just \u201cthe view\u201d \u2014 misunderstanding of what I thought the practice was \u2014 but it was also on a very visceral level. My body was all about <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">doing<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, all about activity, all about really trying, really exerting in a very subtle way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I remember, after quite a few years of working with these practices, sitting in a taxi traveling the often bumpy roads of India and thinking, \u201cOkay, you know, I&#8217;m out and about. I&#8217;m off for the day and don&#8217;t have anything to do. I&#8217;m not in a stressful office situation.\u201d I could just feel so much tension and tightness in my body. So, learning to relax on a very deep level with all of that is not something I have ever done in my life. Learning to work with that in meditation and allowing that to be an opportunity to do that was just really wonderful. It\u2019s an ongoing process. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>This the excerpt from<a href=\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/\"> Joy of Living<\/a> webinar.[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n<h2>About the Author<\/h2>\n<p><em>Tsunma Kunsang Palmo serves as a guide for Tergar\u2019s Joy of Living and Vajrayana Online courses, the Tergar Meditation Teacher Program, and is a faculty member at the Tergar Institute, which offers experiential and applied courses in Tibetan Buddhism, following a meditative curriculum created by Mingyur Rinpoche.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=&#8221;1\/12&#8243; lms_has_clearfix=&#8221;0&#8243; offset=&#8221;vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs&#8221;][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=&#8221;1&#8243; lms_row_has_bk_offset=&#8221;1&#8243; lms_row_bk_columns_offset=&#8221;0&#8243; u_row_enrollment_restriction=&#8221;0&#8243; lms_row_bk_offset_section_classes=&#8221;bk-cielo-post&#8221;][vc_column width=&#8221;1\/12&#8243; lms_has_clearfix=&#8221;0&#8243; offset=&#8221;vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs&#8221;][\/vc_column][vc_column width=&#8221;5\/6&#8243; lms_has_clearfix=&#8221;0&#8243; offset=&#8221;vc_col-lg-8&#8243;][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner width=&#8221;1\/2&#8243;][vc_column_text el_class=&#8221;free-text-blog&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h2>Joy of Living Online Training<\/h2>\n<p>[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=&#8221;free-text-blog&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1625157115208{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h4>Theory and practice of meditation, step-by-step.<\/h4>\n<p>[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=&#8221;free-text-blog&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1625157098798{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]Learn meditation under the skillful guidance of world-renowned teacher Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche at your own pace.[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=&#8221;txt-link-landing btn-mb20&#8243;]<a href=\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/joy-of-living\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">LEARN MORE <\/a>[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=&#8221;1\/2&#8243;][vc_single_image image=&#8221;92705&#8243; img_size=&#8221;full&#8221;][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][\/vc_column][vc_column width=&#8221;1\/12&#8243; lms_has_clearfix=&#8221;0&#8243; offset=&#8221;vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs&#8221;][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"Trying harder and putting in that extra bit of exertion was so counterproductive!\"","protected":false},"featured_media":122542,"template":"","tags":[126,160,158,271,145,127,250,273,272],"blog":[122],"class_list":["post-122297","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-awareness","tag-benefits-of-meditation","tag-everyday-life","tag-expectations","tag-formal-meditation","tag-how-to-meditate","tag-letting-go","tag-synchronizing-mind-and-body","tag-tension","blogs-how-to-meditate"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Expectations, You Say? - Joy of Living Online<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Expectations, You Say? - Joy of Living Online\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&quot;Trying harder and putting in that extra bit of exertion was so counterproductive!&quot;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Joy of Living Online\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/betatergarbucket.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/06170844\/820-x-520px-mobile-blog.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"820\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/\",\"name\":\"Expectations, You Say? - Joy of Living Online\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/betatergarbucket.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/06170844\/820-x-520px-mobile-blog.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-02-16T10:07:43+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/betatergarbucket.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/06170844\/820-x-520px-mobile-blog.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/betatergarbucket.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/06170844\/820-x-520px-mobile-blog.png\",\"width\":820,\"height\":520},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Blog\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Expectations, You Say?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/\",\"name\":\"Joy of Living Online\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Expectations, You Say? - Joy of Living Online","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Expectations, You Say? - Joy of Living Online","og_description":"\"Trying harder and putting in that extra bit of exertion was so counterproductive!\"","og_url":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/","og_site_name":"Joy of Living Online","og_image":[{"width":820,"height":520,"url":"https:\/\/betatergarbucket.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/06170844\/820-x-520px-mobile-blog.png","type":"image\/png"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/","url":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/","name":"Expectations, You Say? - Joy of Living Online","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/betatergarbucket.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/06170844\/820-x-520px-mobile-blog.png","datePublished":"2024-02-16T10:07:43+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/betatergarbucket.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/06170844\/820-x-520px-mobile-blog.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/betatergarbucket.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/06170844\/820-x-520px-mobile-blog.png","width":820,"height":520},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/how-to-meditate\/expectations-you-say\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Blog","item":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Expectations, You Say?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/#website","url":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/","name":"Joy of Living Online","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog\/122297"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/blog"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/122542"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=122297"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=122297"},{"taxonomy":"blogs","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/qa.tergar.org\/lms-dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog?post=122297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}