[vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″ el_class=”head-post”][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n
By Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche \u2022 5 min read[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”sharepost”]\n\t\t\t\t
SHARE:\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t<\/p>[\/vc_column_text][vc_btn title=”TRY FOR FREE” style=”outline” color=”peacoc” align=”left” el_class=”btn-post” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fjoy.tergar.org%2Fjoy-of-living%2F||target:%20_blank|”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_column_text el_class=”subtittle-open-post”]<\/p>\n A typical dilemma among meditators goes something like this: \u201cLove and compassion is my practice, so if someone really needs help, I should jump in. But so many people need help, so much of the time \u2014 how can I possibly say yes to everybody without getting completely depleted?\u201d For practitioners who strive to be altruistic and generous, it\u2019s a common concern.<\/p>\n Fortunately, the Tergar tradition provides guidelines. For one thing, our approach to helping others must be in accord with both our capacities and our limitations. Having love, compassion, and good conduct is not synonymous with having no boundaries, taking actions that fly in the face of common sense, or sacrificing your own well-being for another. In fact, establishing boundaries is crucial. Willingness, too, is key. If in doubt, \u201cDon\u2019t do it if you think you will regret it later\u201d is a good guiding principle.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column lms_has_clearfix=”0″][vc_single_image image=”110651″ img_size=”full” alignment=”center” css=”.vc_custom_1674650422966{padding-top: 30px !important;padding-bottom: 30px !important;}” el_class=”hidden-xs”][vc_single_image image=”110650″ img_size=”full” alignment=”center” css=”.vc_custom_1674650457383{padding-top: 30px !important;padding-bottom: 30px !important;}” el_class=”visible-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_column_text el_class=”subtittle-open-post”]<\/p>\n If this seems like some version of letting yourself off the hook, you can always look to the Buddha as a role model. To say he was generous about giving teachings would be a vast understatement, yet a famous episode in the Sekha-patipada Sutta describes him responding with what you might call \u201ca hard no.\u201d Having spent the previous evening \u201cinstructing, urging, rousing, and encouraging\u201d an assembly, he was asked to do it all over again the next morning. The Buddha turned to his disciple, Ananda, and told him to go on in his place, concluding with, \u201cMy back aches. I will rest it.\u201d At which point he stretched out on the ground and took a nice little nap.\u00a0Notice that the Buddha didn\u2019t simply walk out on the situation \u2014 he found another solution, in this case by delegating responsibility.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1675100161822{padding-top: 20px !important;padding-bottom: 40px !important;}” el_class=”subtittle-open-post”]<\/p>\n Sustainability is important, and sometimes saying no is part of that. If you want to be able to come to others\u2019 aid in the future, you might have to occasionally call a time-out to take care of yourself. Helping yourself in order to better help others is a virtuous circle. Yes, it\u2019s true that there\u2019s also a story about the Buddha giving his body to feed a hungry tiger in one of his lifetimes; but he was crystal clear that such activities are not for beginner bodhisattvas. For we ordinary practitioners who strive to be more compassionate, loving humans, it\u2019s vital to look after ourselves so that we can better help our friends, family, colleagues, and society as a whole. Therefore, saying \u201cno\u201d can be an act of love and compassion. It can be a \u201cno\u201d of wisdom.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″ lms_row_bk_offset_section_classes=”bk-qoute-full”][vc_column][vc_column_text]\u201cEach moment provides an opportunity to turn toward awakening; and we are more likely to take advantage of each moment once we accept that these moments are limited.\u201d[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”autorquotepost”]\u2013 Mingyur Rinpoche \u2013[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″ lms_row_bk_offset_section_classes=”bk-gris-mailing”][vc_column lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_hidden-xs”][vc_column_text]\n\t\t \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tIf you enjoyed reading our articles, please join our mailing list\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tand we'll send you our news and latest pieces.\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t [\/vc_column_text][vc_video link=”https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=fFVo5P4tu80&feature=youtu.be” el_width=”80″ align=”center” css=”.vc_custom_1674651013439{padding-top: 40px !important;padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”][vc_row_inner css=”.vc_custom_1618452751051{padding-bottom: 30px !important;}”][vc_column_inner width=”1\/12″][\/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”5\/6″][vc_column_text el_class=”subtittle-open-post”]<\/p>\n [\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_separator css=”.vc_custom_1618424580871{padding-top: 40px !important;padding-bottom: 50px !important;}”][vc_column_text el_class=”sharepost share-post-center” css=”.vc_custom_1619130357128{padding-bottom: 40px !important;}”]<\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t SHARE:\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t<\/p><\/p>\n [\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″ lms_row_bk_offset_section_classes=”bk-cielo-post”][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1\/2″][vc_column_text el_class=”free-text-blog”]<\/p>\n [\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”free-text-blog” css=”.vc_custom_1625157115208{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”]<\/p>\n [\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”free-text-blog” css=”.vc_custom_1625157098798{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”]Learn meditation under the skillful guidance of world-renowned teacher Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche at your own pace.[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”txt-link-landing btn-mb20″]LEARN MORE <\/a>[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1\/2″][vc_single_image image=”92705″ img_size=”full”][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″ lms_row_bk_offset_section_classes=”bk-gris-post”][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n In his approach to teaching meditation, Mingyur Rinpoche integrates traditional Buddhist practice and philosophy with the current scientific understanding of the mind and mental health \u2013 making the practice of meditation relevant and accessible to students around the world. Mingyur Rinpoche is the author of the best-selling book The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness,<\/em> as well as Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom, In Love with the World: A Monk\u2019s Journey Through the Bardos of Living and Dying,<\/em> and many others.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″ lms_row_bk_offset_section_classes=”bk-gris-mailing”][vc_column lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_hidden-xs”][vc_column_text]\n\t\tThe altruism question<\/h3>\n
\u201cYou do it . . . my back hurts.\u201d<\/h3>\n
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