[vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″ el_class=”head-post”][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n
By Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche \u2022 7 min read[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”sharepost”]\n\t\t\t\t
SHARE:\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t<\/p>[\/vc_column_text][vc_btn title=”Try Joy of Living” style=”outline” color=”peacoc” align=”left” el_class=”btn-post” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fjoy.tergar.org%2Fjoy-of-living%2F||target:%20_blank|”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_column_text el_class=”subtittle-open-post”]<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span>The person with an aggressive mind is restless and discontented. They don\u2019t sleep well, unable to find peace. They obsess about the harm they imagine their opponents might cause them, and how to get the upper hand. The idea that drives them is that their enemies can be overcome by way of anger. But in reality, when one\u2019s mind is filled with anger, one\u2019s enemies will increase, not decrease. It is, of course, possible to inflict harm upon our foes. But no sooner do we do so than more enemies rise up behind them. The mind of aggression is not really capable of vanquishing enemies at all.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column lms_has_clearfix=”0″][vc_single_image image=”105958″ img_size=”full” alignment=”center” css=”.vc_custom_1660125877065{padding-top: 30px !important;padding-bottom: 30px !important;}” el_class=”hidden-xs”][vc_single_image image=”105957″ img_size=”full” alignment=”center” css=”.vc_custom_1660125892208{padding-top: 30px !important;padding-bottom: 30px !important;}” el_class=”visible-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_column_text el_class=”subtittle-open-post” css=”.vc_custom_1673373690936{padding-bottom: 40px !important;}”]<\/p>\n There\u2019s an old story: A few thousand years ago, there lived a nomadic people who traveled by foot over mountains and across great plains. Some of the paths they had to walk were strewn with sharp pebbles and thorns that pierced the soles of their feet. Eventually, they lit upon a solution: to cover the ground with leather. However, they managed to cover only about twenty miles of path before they ran out of leather. Had they used just enough to cover their own feet, it would have been as good as covering the whole earth with leather. The better solution to the nomads\u2019 problem might seem obvious, but we often overlook the same lesson: if we tame our mind from within, it\u2019s as good as taming all external enemies.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n If our minds are filled with hatred and other mental afflictions<\/a>, they\u2019ll stay as tight and stuffy as a locked room without windows. If we are devoid of compassion, lacking the wish to benefit others, we won\u2019t feel confidence or bravery. Moreover, since external appearances mirror our mental state, the outside world will appear unpleasant to us. For instance, imagine that two people stand before an audience. The person whose mind is disturbed and full of animosity will see, in each face, some evidence of negative qualities. The person who has kindness in their heart will look at the very same faces and see evidence of goodness there. If we imbue our mindstreams with mindfulness, kindness, and compassion, our experiences will be happier ones. We will be able to keep harmonious company with anyone, in any situation. We will also appear pleasant to others.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″ lms_row_bk_offset_section_classes=”bk-qoute-full”][vc_column][vc_column_text]\u201cIf we could step back to look at the situation more objectively, we might see that people who<\/span> yell at us are upset over something that may have nothing to do with us.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”autorquotepost”]\u2013 Mingyur Rinpoche \u2013[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1660126223648{padding-top: 20px !important;padding-bottom: 20px !important;}” el_class=”subtittle-open-post”]<\/p>\n A person whose mind is narrow and prideful finds it difficult to get along with others, because they see faults in everyone. Not only that, they perceive small faults as enormous. We see this at play when we get into fights over trivial things: \u201cThe chair should go in the far corner of the room.\u201d \u201cNo, the chair should go near the window!\u201d The whole issue of where to place the chair isn\u2019t really important to begin with. We need to recognize that this is the case. If our minds are consumed with resentment and we\u2019re only concerned for ourselves, it\u2019s very hard to recognize when we\u2019re caught up in this kind of thing. But if we stay stuck in these pointless battles, we accomplish no benefit for anyone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In dealing with conflict, we should first contemplate that our adversary wants to be happy and be free from suffering, just as we do. Next, try to see things from their point of view. By looking at the situation from their perspective, we\u2019ll be able to see clearly who has the mistaken idea, and who is in error. We will be able to see our own faults clearly, too. If, through this contemplation, we find that we<\/i> are the ones in error, then we can begin to address those faults in ourselves. Should we confirm that yes, the other<\/i> person is the one who is confused and at fault, we\u2019ll still be able to see the situation with compassion. We\u2019ll recognize that they are trying for happiness, but they misunderstand how to attain it. They might be harming us, and others too, yet we can understand that their behavior is actually impeding the happiness that they\u2019re trying to achieve.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n If the conflict is over a minor issue, like the placement of a chair in a room, we can simply let go of the whole thing, and let the other person have their way. It\u2019s important to cultivate patience at times like that. But if the situation is serious, and it\u2019s feasible for us to try to stop their negative action \u2014 in a peaceful way, with kindness \u2014 then, since our intention is good, it\u2019s okay to challenge them. When we try this, we should do so in a way that won\u2019t upset them further. If we speak harshly, that won\u2019t give them a chance to see their own faults; it will just perpetuate their anger and elicit another combative response. Rather, try to clearly explain the reasons why their actions are harmful to themselves as well as others. If we have patience even if they\u2019re treating us with hostility, we give them space to see the faults of their own aggression. After they\u2019ve finished venting on us, there\u2019s space for them to realize that they might have been wrong. If that happens, they will have more respect for us in the end. But whether or not it benefits them is out of our control. We can only try our best.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Since we all live on this one planet, we must rely on each other. If we don\u2019t have love and compassion, the entire path of depending upon, communicating with, and having connections with one another will be destroyed. On the other hand, if we take the attitude that we are contributing to the interdependence of human life, we will be able to relate to each other; we\u2019ll make connections we can rely on. The whole world will benefit. Take honeybees as an example. One honeybee on its own has little power. But a whole hive of them, working together \u2014 look at the beautiful architecture they create! Even if humans set out to try, it would be difficult for them to build a house as beautiful as a natural beehive. Not to mention the honey! The bees don\u2019t have a military or a police force; they don\u2019t need laws or prisons. You could call it a Utopian vision of what we could achieve in human society. They live in a naturally altruistic state that benefits both self and others. This is the way of relative truth: the interdependence of everything, a principle with the qualities of kindness and compassion.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Some people think that if the whole world was kind and compassionate it would be a dull place, populated by people who idled around placidly, like sheep. But if we have genuine love and compassion, turning into sheep is impossible. Kindness makes our minds open and spacious, invites confidence, and pacifies our anger. Compassion also impels us to do our best to benefit others, filling us with the joyful effort we need to work toward any goal in the name of this purpose.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″ lms_row_bk_offset_section_classes=”bk-gris-mailing”][vc_column lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_hidden-xs”][vc_column_text]\n\t\t \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tIf you enjoyed reading our articles, please join our mailing list\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tand we'll send you our news and latest pieces.\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t [\/vc_column_text][vc_video link=”https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=CaG29ToZTfI” el_width=”80″ align=”center” css=”.vc_custom_1660126347480{padding-top: 40px !important;padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”][vc_row_inner css=”.vc_custom_1618452751051{padding-bottom: 30px !important;}”][vc_column_inner width=”1\/12″][\/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”5\/6″][vc_column_text el_class=”subtittle-open-post”]<\/p>\n [\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1\/12″][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_separator css=”.vc_custom_1618424580871{padding-top: 40px !important;padding-bottom: 50px !important;}”][vc_column_text el_class=”sharepost share-post-center” css=”.vc_custom_1619130357128{padding-bottom: 40px !important;}”]<\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t SHARE:\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/i><\/a>\n\t<\/p><\/p>\n [\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″ lms_row_bk_offset_section_classes=”bk-cielo-post”][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1\/2″][vc_column_text el_class=”free-text-blog”]<\/p>\n [\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”free-text-blog” css=”.vc_custom_1625157115208{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”]<\/p>\n [\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”free-text-blog” css=”.vc_custom_1625157098798{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”]Learn meditation under the skillful guidance of world-renowned teacher Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche at your own pace.[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”txt-link-landing btn-mb20″]LEARN MORE <\/a>[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1\/2″][vc_single_image image=”92705″ img_size=”full”][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”1″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″ lms_row_bk_offset_section_classes=”bk-gris-post”][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”5\/6″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-8″][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n In his approach to teaching meditation, Mingyur Rinpoche integrates traditional Buddhist practice and philosophy with the current scientific understanding of the mind and mental health \u2013 making the practice of meditation relevant and accessible to students around the world. Mingyur Rinpoche is the author of the best-selling book The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness,<\/em> as well as Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom, In Love with the World: A Monk\u2019s Journey Through the Bardos of Living and Dying,<\/em> and many others.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_col-lg-2 vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row u_row_style=”1″ lms_row_has_bk_offset=”0″ lms_row_bk_columns_offset=”0″ u_row_enrollment_restriction=”0″][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”10\/12″][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/12″ lms_has_clearfix=”0″ offset=”vc_hidden-xs”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The person with an aggressive mind is restless and discontented. They don\u2019t sleep well, unable to find peace. They obsess about the harm they imagine their opponents might cause them, and how to get the upper hand. The idea that drives them is that their enemies can be overcome by…","protected":false},"featured_media":105957,"template":"","tags":[205,151,137,206,209,146,208,207,152,134,167],"blog":[157],"class_list":["post-105956","blog","type-blog","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-aggression","tag-compassion","tag-emotions","tag-enemy","tag-happiness","tag-informal-meditation","tag-kindness","tag-love","tag-lovingkindness","tag-mind","tag-mindfulness","blogs-meditation-in-everyday-life"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe delusion of aggression<\/h3>\n
Changing the walker changes the path<\/h3>\n
Two views of the same faces<\/h3>\n
Choosing your battles<\/h3>\n
Stop, look, and listen<\/h3>\n
Challenging an adversary<\/h3>\n
Be the bee<\/h3>\n
Confidence and joyful effort<\/h3>\n
Join Our Mailing List<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
More Resources:<\/h2>\n
Love for all beings<\/h3>\n
Joy of Living Online Training<\/h2>\n
Theory and practice of meditation, step-by-step.<\/h4>\n
About the Author<\/h2>\n
By Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche<\/a><\/h3>\n